Teachings of Shri Mahayogi

Satsangha, Kyoto, 2005, 2008, 2009, 2014, 2017, 2018

• The Mission of the Enlightened Ones and the Order of the Universe

• The Establishment of Sanatana Dharma

• The Role of Yogi

• Resolve to Become the Same as the Guru

• The Descent of Avatara

• The Act of True Love

• Enthusiasm for Satori and the Practice of the Avatara

• The Essence of Love and Its Ultimate Form

• The Grace of God

• The Necessity of the Guru and the Meaning of Sangha

 

Testimonies from Actual Practitioners

• Message for the Celebration of Jayanti, in Representation of all Disciples
by Gopala
November 2021, Kyoto, Japan

• Aiming to Manifest the Joy of Living
by Chika Takeshita
September 2021, Ishikawa, Japan

• Jai Ma, Kali Ma
by Tomoko Sasanuma
November 2021, Matsuyama, Japan

 

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Teachings of Shri Mahayogi

Translation of Satsangha

The Mission of the Enlightened Ones and
the Order of the Universe¹

Saturday April 16, 2005, Kyoto

MASTER: Shri Ramakrishna lived in the middle of the 19^th century. That era marked the beginning of a period in which there was more intimate contact between the East and the West. This took place mostly through the invasion or the colonization of the East by the West. Although it may have seemed to be a trivial aspect of this contact, the great history, traditions and cultures of the East were introduced to the West. What shone especially brightly was the area of religious philosophy, or religious thought. Eastern wisdom may have come as quite a shock to Western culture, which had been devoted solely to Christianity. Just as history had always repeated itself up until then, such was the case within the realm of religion as well, as religions were mutually exclusive and did not accept other religions.

However, what India had been declaring for millennia was thus: “The Truth is One. The seers call it by various names.” Upon accepting all of them, one must realize the real, ultimate Truth. Just as when rivers with various names flow into the ocean, they lose their names and turn into the one ocean. This was taught before the time of Buddha, Buddha taught the same, and in the 19^th century there was a need to boldly declare it again. That was the reason for Shri Ramakrishna’s descent. That divine light was spread across the West by his beloved disciple, Vivekananda.

Afterwards, the Western countries headed straight into the era of chaos and war and, in turn, that caused people to stray further away from religion. At that point, the wisdom of the East quenched people’s thirst and satiated the masses. This is because in the wisdom of the East it is recognized that religion belongs to each person, and that God abides within each and every person. Actually, Yoga too was first introduced to the West around this time. But it may have only been introduced in the literal sense, through words. Actual practice came later.

Some time passed, and in the latter half of the twentieth century people finally began to actually practice Yoga. The fervor for Yoga is becoming stronger and stronger, because the blessings of Yoga are so tremendous. One can fulfill one’s worldly wishes and also receive the relief that comes from hoping for heaven. And, ultimately, Satori is there. However, the current trends in Yoga are also simultaneously creating confusion about what Yoga is. We have arrived at a time when we must correct the position of Yoga [within society, as well as how it is commonly understood].

When Jesus Christ appeared two thousand years ago, it is said that he spoke thusly:
“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Religion [or the Prophets]; I have not come to abolish but to fulfill them.”² And, although it wasn’t expressed in the same words, Buddha’s appearance had the same meaning. The Eternal Truth had almost been forgotten among the brahmin (the priesthood caste) and other various practitioners and philosophers. But because of Buddha’s appearance, the course was corrected, just as it says in the phrase from the Bhagavad Gita: “Whensoever there is the fading of the Dharma and the rising of unrighteousness, then I loose myself forth into birth.”³ “For the deliverance of the good, for the destruction of the evil-doers, for the enthroning of the Righteous, I am born from age to age.”⁴ By “evil-doers,” he means those practicing incorrect teachings.

When we look at history, you can see that when there is great prosperity, there is always turmoil as its shadow. People get lured by the brightly-lit shiny lights and enter into a labyrinth. In these times, a self-luminous source of light, like the Sun, is needed. In front of the shining Sun, no other lights are necessary. The Avatara is such an existence. The Avatara is always an Eternal, Perfect Existence. If people want to see God, they must see the Avatara. However, the beast of ignorance that is nesting within people’s minds forgets that after some time; therefore, it is necessary for the Avatara to appear time and time again. That is the order of the entire universe.

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[1] From Pranavadipa 29 The Descent of the Avatara—The Great Mission and Blessing

[2] Paraphrase of Matthew 5:17

[3] Bhagavad Gita 4:7

[4] Bhagavad Gita 4:8

The Establishment of Sanatana Dharma¹

    Saturday December 6, 2008, Kyoto

MASTER: (after some silence) The Truth is Eternal, Immortal and Indestructible Existence. There are various correct teachings attached to this Truth. Furthermore, in the area of so-called religions, in the teachings that were given according to the times or the situation, there often is included a morsel of Truth. However, if one cannot realize the ultimate Truth, in other words, even if you know the branch, but do not know the trunk or the root of this foundational tree, it is meaningless. That foundation is called Sanatana Dharma. This means that it is the Eternal Truth.

It’s not that complicated. The Essence, the Substance of all things, is that Eternal Existence, that Immortal Existence. This world is the temporary form taken on by that formless Existence. That is why this world is limited by time and restricted by space. The conditions in various situations produce causal relationships, since the mind acts as if it were the protagonist, as many worlds are created as there are minds. That is the cause of confusion and suffering. As the mind is deluded and creates incorrect thoughts, the dream-like, illusory world keeps creating and expanding. Ultimately, it all ends in suffering. If one can discard the mistakes and get back to the Truth, then one awakens to the bliss-filled Immortal Existence itself, free from any suffering whatsoever. The substance, which is called God, is also this Existence. To confirm Sanatana Dharma, that is, to realize It—that is what is meant by the establishment of Sanatana Dharma.

This Satori can neither be acquired through knowledge, nor realized through thought, that is, through thinking. Once all of these disappear, it emerges for the first time. “Yoga is to eliminate the activities of the mind”; this is the famous definition of Yoga. The mind is not the master, but the real master is that Existence, which is Atman, or That which is called God. At that time, the mind itself will be led to come to terms with its own essence.

The mind will be forced to reckon with the fact that it is not the master, but rather a subject, a servant or a tool—which is its real lot in life.

Even looking back in history, this realization of Sanatana Dharma is something experienced by very few. That’s how rare and precious it is. That is why realizing Sanatana Dharma is our, the Mission’s, calling.

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[1] From Pranavadipa 29 The Descent of the Avatara—The Great Mission and Blessing

 

The Role of Yogi

Saturday December 6, 2008, Kyoto

Q: Shri Mahayogi had the experience of Awakening in primary school. Did you know your own mission then?

MASTER: When I was in my teens, in other words, when I was practicing Yoga pragmatically, Yoga had not yet been introduced to Japan, and though there are many temples here in Kyoto, I did not sense Satori, which is the Truth, from them at all either. As the society [in Japan] was getting more interested in Yoga, people started to gather under me little by little. Time has passed in this way for 30 years, 40 years, yet I feel like my feeling even now is the same as at that time. My role has been and is the same, if I dare say, it is probably so. I think that, if I check it with the various past cases in history, it is to show and explain that which is certain in the midst of all being lost in this chaos and confusion, and to leave behind seeds. I don’t know how much I was conscious about it back then, but at least I can say that simply I was the same [as I am right now].

Resolve to Become the Same as the Guru¹

Saturday January 18, 2014, Kyoto

Q: May I ask, with what kind of resolve and spirit Shri Mahayogi takes on this work, and what should we do to get closer to that?

MASTER: Vivekananda once said, “If there were another Vivekananda, then he would have understood what Vivekananda has done.”²

In order to understand me, you must become me. And, I wish for you to become so, to be so. In other words, it is nothing but to realize the true Atman, the true Existence, which is without second, which exists within each and every one of you—that is it.

And, the work within this limited life with a physical body, is to devote yourself to helping the works that are for the benefit of as many people as possible to come in contact with the correct Yoga, and realize the Truth, just as I did—it can be through the work of leaving words in scriptures [for future generations], and in consideration of the far future, a landmark, a monastery will be a necessity—all work is solely for realizing the Truth that exists within each and every one. You are all doing some temporary work to make ends meet for a daily living, having different livelihoods, however, the real and true work lies in [what I mentioned].

Please have the resolve to realize Satori, the Truth, to become the same as me. Then, everything will be carried through to the furthest extent.

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[1] From Pranavadipa 29  Resolve

[2] “If there were another Vivekananda, then he would have understood what Vivekananda has done! And yet—how many Vivekanandas shall be born in time!” —from Vivekananda: A Biography

The Descent of Avatara¹

Saturday November 7, 2009, Kyoto

Q: In India, the celebration of the descent of an Avatara, Jayanti, has been observed. Are there any traditions around Jayanti?

MASTER: The appearance of an Avatara meant blessings and salvation granted to all. The appearance of the Avatara is not limited in time, the Avatara exists eternally beyond time, it is auspicious Joy.

Examples of contemporary Jayanti for the Avatara include celebrations such as the April 8^th Festival of Flowers for Buddha, and I think that recent ones have been celebrated for Shri Ramakrishna and Ramana Maharishi.

Either way, the meaning of Jayanti is that the Avatara brings salvation and blessings to all living beings. So, people immerse themselves in that joy and celebrate Jayanti. There may be various forms based on certain traditions, but the spirit flowing at the foundation simply boils down to that.

When I went to India, coincidentally, the celebration of the 150^th Anniversary of Ramakrishna’s birth was taking place. I saw that many people from all over India, I suppose, were in Dakshineswar, as well as various sites related to Shri Ramakrishna in Calcutta. They were all barefoot, and many of them were walking around in crowds even late into the night. In Dakshineswar and other sites, magnificent rituals were performed, and it was a scene of endless blessings to the gathered pilgrims. There were kirtan (love songs that tie God and soul together) offered by the top singers, there was Prasad,² and it was massive.

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[1] From Pranavadipa 29  The Descent of the Avatara—The Great Mission and Blessing

[2] Things that have previously been offered to God with the understanding that everything is provided by God. One receives prasad as something that is filled with divine blessings.

The Act of True Love

Saturday December 9, 2017, Kyoto

Ms. Sasanuma: A while back, Shri Mahayogi taught me that love is self-sacrifice, but the only person who truly knows the Self that is to be sacrificed is the one who has realized Satori. At the time, I didn’t quite understand it, but now I think the Self that has realized Satori, is the true Self. Please teach us a little more about this.

MASTER: The usual act of love is done through the mind; in other words, it is acted out through the ego and the tendencies of individual minds; even though there are good deeds, and there are not so good ones, from the perspective of the Truth, they’re all in an imperfect state. However, that is not the case with true Love; [true Love] consists of pure acts that do not have any ego or pain-bearing obstacles whatsoever in the background—you can say that that is true self-sacrifice. Then it can be concluded that the protagonist, who is the doer of the action of love, is the true Self itself, in other words, God is the doer. There, the words “God is Love,” which have been said since olden days, become valid. Therefore, by eliminating ego and ignorance through practicing Yoga in action, and when the true Self starts to emerge, then the real act of true Love is born there.

Ms. Sasanuma: Does that mean, with regard to the actions of someone who still has not realized the true Self, that inevitably the only way for us is to take action while working hard to cut our ego, even though those actions will not be considered to be as those of a perfected one yet?

MASTER: Right. Because this Truth is the sole infallible Truth, what it boils down to is to practice following the teachings of Truth, or rather, taking action, constantly pushing yourself to do that.

Ms. Sasanuma: Is that what God wishes?

MASTER: Yes, it is.

Enthusiasm for Satori and the Practice of the Avatara

Ramdas: There are the words of Buddha, “[An instrument] does not produce a good sound if the strings are wound too tight or too loose.” I’d like to ask about fine tuning. When I meditate, there are times when one hour passes very quickly, and it feels to me like I had some exchange with the true Self, with God. Should I fine tune my daily life entirely, including spiritual practice, so that I can always bring myself to such a state?

MASTER: (boldly) That is not a matter of fine tuning, it is a matter of belief and faith. What Buddha meant by the analogy of the string and its tuning is—that the general practices actually performed at that time were, on one hand, asceticism, and on the other hand, there were hedonistic ritual sacrifices; therefore, he taught that there is a middle path, which is neither; actually it does not hurt the body like asceticism does, but rather it conditions the body, and only by cultivating a healthy body and a sound mind can correct meditation be done. In this way, these were the Buddha’s words of admonishment regarding these practices at that time.

That is exactly the path of Yoga too. Still, the yearning towards Satori or God must be intense. And also, it must be kept pure.

Ramdas: So then, what proportion of the day should be set aside for meditation?

MASTER: That’s not a matter that can be determined by physical time. Really, if your mind is entirely occupied by Satori or God, then no matter what you are doing 24/7, if you are sitting or standing or doing something else, the longing towards God, or (making the gesture of a rising flame, while speaking with an intense tone of voice) the thoughts filled with burning passion towards Satori and Freedom will constantly come. Therefore, it cannot be measured in time.

Yogadanda: December 8th was when Buddha realized Satori. Buddha, too, was born into this world without karma, just like Shri Mahayogi, and even then he meditated under the bodhi tree and ultimately realized Satori; and we have heard that when Shri Mahayogi was young, he discriminated on everything in this world, and that in the end there were no questions that arose anymore. Will you please teach us again what it means for an Avatara to realize Satori?

MASTER: (after some silence, in a quiet tone) Ultimately, it was for others. Especially for the disciples.

Yogadanda: Does that mean that the path was clarified for the disciples?

MASTER: Yes, it does.

(Yogadanda nods many times, silently. The room is filled with silence and tangible concentration.)

Gopala: During the same era, there was an ascetic named Mahavira, and it is possible that Buddha could have ended up just like him, as an ascetic; but he didn’t—I feel that is the great thing about Buddha. Why was Buddha able to discern that [asceticism is not the Middle Way]? Would you share what you think about it?

MASTER: In actuality, Buddha, who was called Siddhartha at the time, practiced six years of asceticism. It seems that at that time, asceticism was something that was widely practiced, as if it was a given, so Siddhartha too attempted it, and practiced it to such a degree that no one in the past, present or future has practiced or will practice harder than he did. (Raising his voice) However, he validated that it did not lead to Satori. Then he abandoned it. According to legend, he started to regain the strength of his body after being so emaciated, to the point of only skin and bones, by consuming a milk porridge given to him by a girl named Sujata. I think that then he had that insight from having a healthy state of mind. And so, quietly, he sat under the bodhi tree (pointing to his own siddhasana) like this, and through the renowned Yoga, namely dhyana, he stilled his mind, and then realized Satori. That was December 8th.

Gopala: Is it correct to understand that Buddha was continuously in a state of burning passion throughout those six years?

MASTER: Yes. It is said that he imposed as much asceticism as possible upon himself, staking his life on it.

Ms. Sasanuma: Because Buddha was an Avatara, he knew everything, correct? Even then, he had this burning passion and validated that one cannot realize Satori through asceticism—that was all for the sake of us, for the purpose of showing us concretely so that we would be able to know it.

MASTER: Yes, it can be understood that way.

Ms. Sasanuma: Then, Shri Mahayogi also knows everything, but because we wouldn’t be convinced unless it was actually done, you graciously did it.

MASTER: (merrily) Well, it wasn’t to the degree Buddha did it, of course (laughs); though everything was done within the realm of Yoga—(quietly) it’s the same thing. Exactly what you said.

Ms. Sasanuma: Don’t Avatara, or God, feel that it is hard work working like that?

MASTER: Because the passion towards Satori is prevailing, there is a sense that even asceticism doesn’t feel like asceticism. That is something that only such a person can know.

(No one speaks up anymore and everyone falls silent. All the disciples are single-mindedly gazing at Shri Mahayogi, while thinking of the deep impulse that arose from the Master’s heart.)

The Essence of Love and Its Ultimate Form

Saturday November 10, 2018, Kyoto

Gopala: Shri Mahayogi has taught us that Love is something that is already there to begin with. In order to nurture it, what should we do?

MASTER: Know the essence of Love itself; through that you will be able to come closer to It. How? Through Yoga. Why? Because it is said that God is Love. Then, what is God according to Yoga? It is Brahman, it is Atman, it is Truth itself. Atman is without a second, once there was only Atman that existed. However, in order for Atman to enjoy itself, for Joy, for savoring Joy, Atman divided itself into two. There, male and female were born, and the universe was born, all and everything was born, turning into various things. All the forms that developed are Atman. Love is a form when two or more things connect together, and it is the attempt to return to Atman, to become Atman itself—that is its form. Therefore, to return to Atman, or to become God—that is the essence of Love, and that is the ultimate form of Love. Therefore, the more you deepen Yoga, the more love becomes pure, and becomes Love itself—this is how it ought to be.

The Grace of God

Chaitanya: I think that people who have faith towards a deity (god with form), at times may sense some kind of grace. We have been taught that the Truth, true Self, and God are the same; and also that Atman is the existence that simply witnesses this mind and body, therefore, it does not speak or work. Please teach us the meaning of God that is equal to that Existence, as the Consciousness that always witnesses, bestowing grace.

MASTER: You can see from “God is love,” as mentioned earlier, that Atman, that is, God, is always bestowing grace. However, the mind that is defiled by ego and pain-bearing obstacles does not know it, and cannot receive it. One can receive grace or feel it only when there is a moment in which the mind is in a tight corner or at its limit; or, through the practice of Yoga, when the mind is becoming purified, one is able to sense grace—such is the way. Grace is constantly granted, just like the rays of the sun.

Chaitanya: If we consider something that is pleasant or convenient for the ego to be grace, then does that lead to the worship of God only for benefits in the mundane world?

MASTER: Strictly speaking, that should not be called grace, since it is merely a worldly benefit. Grace is a blessing that is more sacred and it is undefiled, or [you can say it is] a blessing and a spiritual inspiration.

Chaitanya: Then, it is not limited to things such as how much a person, who is on the side of being able to sense grace, can receive until the end of one’s body.

MASTER: Right. Because God is infinite, grace too ought to be pouring down infinitely.

Ranjani: Even if we’re covered with ego, if there is a moment that we feel something as grace—is our mind pure for that moment, or is that just a misinterpretation?

MASTER: No, there are moments that one’s mind can be pure. You have learned that the mind is constantly changing, right? As one of the conditions of change, there are pure moments that can be brought about (smiling), too.

The Necessity of the Guru and the Meaning of Sangha

Sharmini: It gives me joy to hear stories from gurubai (brother and sister disciples) and see each of the faces of the gurubai when I come here; on the other hand, I think that, since ancient times, there are yogi and yogini who have practiced alone. Please teach us again about practicing alone, and the way a sangha should be according to Yoga.

MASTER: To use a metaphor, practice is like attempting to reach the kingdom of Light by wandering around in a deep forest. If one walks proceeding alone, then one cannot even tell if one is walking towards the destination, because the darkness of the forest is quite complex—like a labyrinth, there are traps and pitfalls and heaps of danger along the way. Then, how does one pass through the forest safely? Scriptures alone will not do. They’re like maps, and a map may be able to show the route, but in the darkness of the actual forest, the map is useless even for finding one’s own bearings. (Emphasizing) What is necessary is a Guru. Because the Guru knows the safest, surest path out. Also, the Guru thoroughly knows where dangers lie and will guide the disciple in a way that avoids injury. For practice, the wisdom and power of the Guru is absolutely indispensable.

Once a Guru is found, then there will surely be other practitioners there as well. That is called sangha. Buddha taught it as Buddha Dharma Sangha—the Awakened One in the form of a Buddha, then Dharma, the teaching of the Truth, and the group of practitioners, which is Sangha—these three are the Three Jewels, or the three treasures. Therefore, a sangha is not some random, disorganized crowd, but a group of people who are all making an effort to pass through the Forest of Ignorance promptly, by following the teachings of that Awakened One and the Truth; in this way, a practitioner will also be one of them. That is the most definitive, safest thing.

Sharmini: The comrades within a sangha, who have gathered around one Guru—how should we go about polishing one another through the encouragement that comes through studying and working hard in competition with each other? In other words, what is the attitude of mind we should have?

MASTER: As a practitioner, you should first prepare your own inner being. That is, to deepen [your state and practice of] Yoga and work to purify your own self. Next, direct your thoughts and actions towards others; that means, as taught in karma yoga, to practice serving others devotedly—and the closest others, those who are your comrades, are sangha. Therefore, it is to devotedly attend to one another and act for one another. Also, works like helping those who may not be in a sangha yet, but who are suffering and struggling outside of sangha, will come to be part of the sangha’s conduct.

Sharmini: Is it correct understanding that we act together as a sangha while each respective disciple continues to practice sadhana (spiritual practice) individually, while serving one another devotedly, and while thinking about serving people outside who are not yet gurubai as well?

MASTER: Yes! That is fine.

(Sharmini has a bright smile on her face and nods together with Shri Mahayogi.)

(Ms. Funase, who has been practicing Yoga seriously for seventeen years, and who is participating in Satsangha for the first time, begins to ask questions.)

Ms. Funase: There was something that I experienced in meditation that made me think of living with God; however, with the repetition of egotistical thoughts arising so easily, for the past five years I accepted that it was difficult to reach my goal, and I focused on the practice of asana instead. I feel that I’ve done the best I could in my own way. (Seeming to suppress her emotion) But, I feel that there is nothing I can do anymore through my own efforts… In order to be kind continuously and to live with God always, what shall I do from now on?

(Shri Mahayogi listens as if to deeply accept Ms. Funase, who is speaking with tears in her eyes.)

MASTER: (After some silence, slowly) If you have experienced that which is God, then such delusions can never arise. That means you still have not experienced real God. Therefore, it is required that you learn, study and devote yourself to practice diligently, so that you can experience the real God. In order to attain your goal, as mentioned earlier as well, the right teaching and the right Guru are necessary. The Guru here is completely different from a teacher, like a professor at a University or a teacher who teaches various subjects; it is also not like a head priest, or the guru in various religious organizations. A Guru in Yoga is a Perfect Existence. The Perfect Existence [who is the Guru] refers to a Being who has realized Satori, that is, who is at One with the Truth—that is what is required of the Guru, strictly speaking. Therefore to follow the right Guru and the right teachings is the best path. The teaching [of the Guru] is nothing particularly special; it is taught in scriptures too, and oftentimes they are quoted or cited, being used in various contexts. However, what is different is the presence of the Guru and the grace that is bestowed from the Existence of the Guru—you could say that that is the critical point, this is what determines it; that’s the difference. Therefore, if you can start from the beginning, taking each step of practice again, then you will be released from such troubles.

Asana is one of the central practices of what is called hatha yoga; one of its purposes is to create a healthy, strong body that is resistant to illness. And, through the breathing done during asana, the rhythm of the breath transforms—which is related to the autonomic nervous system—and that is hidden in the teaching of asana. However, there is no yoga center in the world that knows the extent of this secret and teaches it. Nowadays, Yoga is widely spread across the world, yet asana has become simply a mere health maintenance exercise. In fact, that is not the case; asana has one role in the spiritual field called Yoga. As just mentioned now, the purpose is to create the strong body of a Yoga-practitioner, and to transform the breath into the breath of a Yoga-practitioner—by transforming the breath, simultaneously the mind is getting transformed—which is also commonly described as purifying the mind—in other words, attachments due to pain-bearing obstacles are gradually disappearing, and what’s more, concentration is heightened and the level of insight and intuition becomes sharper. When it comes to creating such a foundation, asana is useful. Having created that foundation, learn and study the Truth well, understand it well, and then meditate upon It. Through doing this, the entirety of one’s humanity, or human existence, in and of itself, transforms. The ultimate of this is equivalent to God. Within such a state, the experience of the realization of God happens.

(Shri Mahayogi smiles fully at Ms. Funase many times, and teaches powerfully.)

Ms. Funase: (with an overwhelming expression) Thank you very much.

Ms. Nagaoka: As we continue practicing Yoga, the mind starts not to get entangled. So then, when it comes to thinking of God, and in our actions and words in daily life, does that mean that we should intentionally use our minds to do that in this case?

MASTER: Right.

Ms. Nagaoka: Does Shri Mahayogi intentionally use the mind?

MASTER: Well, right now, I’m actually taking everyone’s questions like this—I’m taking them into my mind fully, correctly understanding them, and I’m doing my best to answer them correctly (everyone bursts into laughter). I’m using my mind to the fullest! (all break into a roaring laughter)

Ms. Nagaoka: I understand well. (laughs) Thank you very much.

(With Shri Mahayogi’s light and casual tone, the room’s tense atmosphere immediately dissipates, and the atmosphere becomes gentle and tranquil.)

(Soon, the once-a-year auspicious day of the Master’s Holy Birth will come. Satguru Jayanti, where we offer our utmost gratitude towards the Master who pours upon us limitless grace, is itself also a limitless grace of the Master.)

(At the end of Satsangha, there is an announcement from the Festival Rites Committee.)

Festival Rites Committee: Shri Mahayogi, right now, for the sake of pleasing Shri Mahayogi, and for us to be able to offer you our utmost gratitude, we are all working on preparations. So please allow us do our best on the day of Jayanti.

MASTER: Yes! Thank you.

(smiling) See you at Jayanti!!

 

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Testimonies from a Practitioner

Message for the Celebration of Jayanti,
in Representation of all Disciples

by Gopala
November 23, 2021, Kyoto, Japan

This year is the 45th anniversary of the establishment of Mahayogi Ashrama. In this momentous year, we were able to trace back the 45-year process of the footsteps of Shri Mahayogi and the Mahayogi Mission through a slide show on the celebratory occasion of Sanatana Dharma Avatara Mela in the spring and on other occasions. It was a precious opportunity to be able to see the origin of the work of Shri Mahayogi, and the origin of the work of the Mission.

Before I speak about the origin of the Mission’s work, please excuse me and let me speak a little bit about the origin of the work for myself.

My origin of work was the third year after I began to practice Yoga, when I participated in supporting the Jayanti facilitation. At the time, the Jayanti celebration was held at the Ashrama, and there were various ongoing preparations there before the day of the Jayanti celebration; for example, the rehearsals for the timing of turning the lights on and off, location and setup of sound systems, meticulously planned electrical and wiring placement—various preparations and mechanisms were set up like the mesh of a net, going to such a fine level of precise detail behind the scenes that I had never noticed when I previously attended as a regular participant. When I first saw a glimpse of what was going on backstage, I was so shocked, and thought, “If the people in the Mission were to band together to execute a crime, even a perfect crime would be possible.” Mission Impossible—with the work they can execute, even Tom Cruise would have to be amazed. It was not an exaggeration; indeed, it was to such an extent as to make me truly think—the work of the Mission uprooted all my previous ideas of work.

When I saw the slide show at Sanatana Dharma Avatara Mela in the spring for the first time, I found out that Shri Mahayogi himself used to plan the Jayanti guestlist and the program, and that his work became the foundation for the work of the Mission that followed. Also, the way in which Shri Mahayogi’s work always has painstaking meticulousness and clear vision is manifested in the storyboards for when he appeared on the “Ad-Lib Land” TV show. I could feel that the senior disciples of the Mission have followed the perfect and complete preparations that are involved in the work of Shri Mahayogi. And, more than anything, they have inherited Shri Mahayogi’s spirit. During high school, Shri Mahayogi did not leave any trace [of his life] in the world, to the extent that he even tried not to leave his own shadow. I think that the reason why the Mission’s work is so fine is because there are no egotistical thoughts of “I did this and that,” so it becomes perfect work, without any trace. When I think about it, how much Shri Mahayogi has been working for us, unbeknownst to us—there is truly no way to fathom it, indeed. Because, Shri Mahayogi does not leave a single trace.

However, at times, Shri Mahayogi speaks about his own thoughts for the sake of a disciple. It was when I was still Yohei, before being named Gopala, that Shri Mahayogi saw me being shaken by various things—he couldn’t stand by and watch any longer and said thus:
“I am responsible for having transformed Yohei’s life.”
Shri Mahayogi saddles himself with the lives of others—their Souls on his shoulders. It is clear that it is not only me. Shri Mahayogi is working for the sake of all disciples, all souls from the past, all souls in the future, all and everything!!! There is no greater father, no greater laborer!!!

During the Sanatana Dharma Avatara Mela celebration in the spring of this year, Shri Mahayogi spoke about the first Sahasrara flag that he created in order to transmit True Yoga during the first year of the establishment of the Ashrama, and about the sacred phrase from the Upanishads that is written on the flag.

“From pure Joy springs all creation, by Joy it is sustained, toward Joy it proceeds and to Joy it returns.”

We were not born in order to suffer! We were born for joy! And Shri Mahayogi was born to bring about pure Joy to us and is working for it! The origin of Shri Mahayogi’s work is Joy!! That is, the Joy of others!! Once we realize that, then we, the disciples, become one with Shri Mahayogi, and become the petals of the Joy of Shri Mahayogi’s Lila, and we work in this world!! Not only gurubai, but close family and friends, colleagues, people we have yet to meet—by seeing each and every person as a sacred Existence, we devote ourselves to serve for the Joy of others. The purer we become, the more there are blossoms of pure Joy, and the falling petals flutter everywhere.

Vivekananda said that if there are a hundred souls that truly dedicate themselves to others, this can change the face of the world. In these 45 years, Shri Mahayogi has held countless Satsangha, and planted the seeds of the flower of Joy throughout the world. One hundred, nay, a thousand souls are now ready. What is left to do is—we all must awaken boldly, strengthening and making steadfast the self-awareness of this responsibility, and simply unite together to work!! That is the Mission of Mahayogi, that is the Mission of us, disciples!!

Brahman, the source of pure Joy—that is Shri Mahayogi!!
I vow to execute and make my work only to please Shri Mahayogi, joyous with his full smile, seeing Shri Mahayogi in all and everything!!! And, by believing that there is no night without dawn, I wish that, in the future, everyone in the world will play in the Joy of Shri Mahayogi’s Lila .

 

Aiming to Manifest the Joy of Living

by Chika Takeshita
September 20, 2021, Ishikawa

I had the privilege of encountering Shri Mahayogi about twenty years ago.

Even though I have only myself to thank for it, I had become so depressed, I could not even move easily—but Shri Mahayogi saved me. I met and talked it over with him and received his guidance; and when the signs of recovery from it began to appear in me, he said with the kindest smile, “That is good.” However, when I told him, “Up until now, I haven’t actually felt any joy in living, but when I die, I only hope that I would look back and be glad to have lived,” his expression suddenly changed to that of sternness, and he admonished me saying, “That is too passive! You have to become able to feel the joy of living right now, right here.”

Ever since I was a child, I never had any talent, and I had a very strong sense of inferiority. The real me was burning with the desire for it, but I could not find any value in myself and did not know how to find joy in living. Even though I had graciously received that precious encounter with Shri Mahayogi, I kept prioritizing my convenience and did not make myself confront the problem head on; as a matter of course, I continued to not be able to feel any joy in living, and a few years later, I lost touch with Shri Mahayogi.

A turning point happened ten years later, when I met a childhood friend after not being in touch for a long time. I learned from her that she has raised two children very well after going through considerable hardships. She, who became a Christian, who was able to overcome various struggles through her faith, exuded the kind of brilliance and beauty that only people who broke through hardships have.

After all these years, at last, I was overwhelmed by her power of steady faith, which I was convinced is the most important thing in the world; I recalled the words of M (Shri Ramakrishna’s disciple who recorded The Gospel of Shri Ramakrishna)—“Prayer is the last resort. It is the ultimate resource left to man. Prayers will help a man beyond where the intellect may fail”—and with an utmost effort, I steadfastly prayed: “God, please grant faith to me too.”

Surprisingly, the prayer was answered before long. I had thought that because of my shamelessness, the connection to Shri Mahayogi was cut off, but Shri Mahayogi is truly compassionate, and was patiently watching over me. Tears flowed endlessly, and the thick, tall wall that was surrounding me suddenly became a mere illusion. I naturally uttered, “maya, lila,” as the wall simply disappeared without a sound. I was convinced that, through his enormous self-sacrifice, he has guided me to the path of faith.

I began to go see Shri Mahayogi again, but I approached the practice from a completely different attitude than before. Previously, I was performing asana like a duty, but I began to practice them with gratitude and joy. I also began to understand the meaning of asana, which allows one to conquer any shock to the mind or the body.

Also, I used to think that I had no right to become happy since I imposed such a burden to my surroundings, but my attitude shifted to “what I can do for those who have kindly continued to support me, even though I burdened them, is that I myself actually become happy,” and I began to have a strong will. More than anything, I thought that the only way to show my gratitude to Shri Mahayogi, who accepted me again, was to improve my level of spirituality.

Also, even though I focused on how to minimize stress in daily living and even though I was still in a state far away from seeking the true Self, as my understanding of the law of this universe increased through attending Satsangha and classes, interacting with gurubai, and reading scriptures, I sensed that my mind that used to overly react to everything, began to calm down. Even so, I still did not understand the meaning of “Joy of living.” Around that time, the Mission was going to incorporate as a religious organization, and a general assembly meeting was called.

Sananda-san, who facilitated the meeting, passionately spoke about topics such as how Mahayogi Mission is an organization that embodies the purpose of Shri Mahayogi descending to this world and that it is completely different from a general corporation or organization—it exists purely for the purpose of fulfilling the mission to realize Satori, to disseminate [Satori], and to lead [others], as his tools; members need to have the determination to practice the Sanatana Dharma that is fit for that mission. I didn’t quite understand what moved my heart so much, but I felt an abnormal level of being uplifted and it continued for days. When I calmed down, I realized what that was—that was exactly the “Joy of Living.”

What can be more wonderful in this world than meeting someone who embodies the realization of Truth, be taught by that being, and be given the opportunity to correctly inherit and disseminate it? I keenly felt that I wanted to pull myself out from the world of karma, cause and effect, as soon as possible, and then become a person who is able to help with the dissemination and passing on of Sanatana Dharma, just like everyone else. I felt that even if I might not be able to do the extent of passing on [that I would like], even if with a single smile, to become able to transmit even a little of Shri Mahayogi’s infinite Love is just as sacred and precious as Satori, and it is exactly there that the “Joy of Living” exists. From around that time, I began to carefully and attentively listen to what Shri Mahayogi is trying to say, and think deeply on how to interpret it.

What I finally realized was, “The resolution, answer and ultimate destination, for all and everything, is the Truth.” Shri Mahayogi’s teaching is a living, pragmatic wisdom, and it is connected to that One Existence, simply and boldly. I was convinced that it is precisely the Truth, only the Truth, that is the sole Existence that leads everything to true Happiness. Right now, in order to deepen my understanding of the Truth, even if only a little, I am participating in online classes and study group interactions with gurubai; and I have been striving to thoroughly and pragmatically practice and train in yama and niyama, to focus on the current tasks at hand, to do the best I can and leave everything to God, whether I succeed or fail, to accept the results and leave everything to God again. I firmly believe that at the end of all this is the “Joy of Living.”

I will continue to walk upon this path without slack, so that I can always feel that.

Om Tat Sat, Om

 

Jai Ma, Kali Ma

by Tomoko Sasanuma
November 20, 2021, Matsuyama

The other day, I visited a traditional Chinese medicine apothecary that has been taking care of me, and I spoke with the herbalist there after not visiting for a while. “You seem to be a totally different person from before”—the herbalist said slowly and quietly, and seemed to want to continue talking to me about something, so I awaited his words. He then shared a story about someone else who has the same condition as me, to whom he has been prescribing the same herbs: “This person, when in a manic state, gives his family a great deal of trouble, but once the manic state is over, it seems that he regrets it very much and self-reflects about it, and as the manic state returns, he repeats the same thing. I’m wondering if he is not regretting or self-reflecting on it in actuality.” Then, in spite of myself, I involuntarily said, “What I’ve been doing is a bit different,” and then I became speechless.

Indeed, what I have been doing is not like [what he described about this other patient]—but then, what exactly have I been doing? I could not verbalize it. Simply, I felt bad for that patient, and felt a little sad.

Probably there are certain genes that my body is equipped with that make the mind unstable. Towards the latter half of my thirties, those genes bloomed; after that I gave a great deal of trouble to the people surrounding me and I hit rock bottom in my life. Afterwards, it went into remission, and I gave birth to a child, but because I neglected my treatment, it relapsed again as I was raising my small child. When it relapsed, I was determined to diligently take the medication out of need for raising a child, but I could not stand the side effects, and the condition did not get better at all. Constantly, I cycled often between the three conditions: extreme elation, extreme temper, and a depressive state in which I could not move my body at all, so I was restless; because of that I became totally exhausted. That was around the time that I began to be treated by this herbalist at the traditional Chinese medicine apothecary. From the observation of a medical professional who knew me back then, the person I am now seems to be like a different person. However, to me, I have always been “me,” so I can’t know what changed or how I seem like a different person.

Nowadays, my condition is indeed stable; however, somewhere in my mind, I always thought that controlling the condition of mental illness was something that anyone can do. But then, the words of the herbalist made me suddenly and immediately realize how much I have been guided by Yoga; I again came to acknowledge the profoundness of Shri Mahayogi’s actions and the enormity of his compassion, and my heart became full. Yoga indeed gave me the courage and power to overcome my illness, and the battle against this illness became a place to practice Yoga in action; and before I knew it, Yoga became my life itself. Though it would be difficult to explain this to the herbalist at the apothecary, I wanted to express it in words; so I decided to write this article.

My illness is one where my mood goes up and down. If you observe this condition carefully, the symptoms are the mind’s processes becoming faster or slower, or overworking or underworking; that means this illness is based on the defects of the functions of the physical body, including the brain. From this, I figured that both the practice of asana and diet ought to be effective in treating it.

“Asana and meditation are the best medicine,” and, “Food can be consumed as medicine.”

“Asana can restore both the body and the mind at the cellular level,” said Shri Mahayogi. When I asked, “Would I, a beginner in asana, be able to reap its benefits?” Shri Mahayogi answered decisively, “Yes.” If the breath transforms through practicing asana, consequently the mind calms down; and if that happens, then I will also become able to concentrate. Theoretically, the state of my ever-fluctuating mind should also calm down. However, since I had not been participating in activities that involved moving my body, I could not form any decent asana, let alone be able to concentrate or calm down the breath. Not only that, if I could practice 15 minutes, that was a good day, and it was impossible to practice daily. Around that time, Anandi opened up the studio in Matsuyama, and I tried to go as much as possible; but it took a good while for me to be able to attend regularly. I felt that if it was that easy to do all these things, I would not have gotten this mental illness to begin with. I thought: Will I be able to practice if I continue to do it? It didn’t feel like it was possible at all. Nonetheless, I always keep telling myself, from that time until now, that since the doctor told me, “This will be a condition where you will have to take medication for the rest of your life,” whether I would be able to practice well or not, it was something I had to continue for the rest of my life, therefore, why not continue even if I’m unable to do it well.

Even now, asana is difficult for me, but at some point, it became a given that I go to class a few times a week. At the same time, gradually, before I was aware of it, I acquired an attitude that I can control this illness even with a dysfunctional mind. These changes are due to the power of asana—my trust towards asana became stronger and stronger. But actually, had I not been diagnosed with an illness that requires medication for the rest of my life, I probably would not have had the motivation to continue asana like this to this day.

I think that the true cause of this illness is pleasure. When the manic episode occurred for the first time, the mood of my mind was at its best, despite concerns from my colleagues at work. It felt to me that everything I do is a huge success, and I felt that I have abilities that are beyond what I give myself credit for and I can do anything, nay, for sure I am capable of doing anything. I want to work more, play more, talk more, fall in love more, more… more… Everything is so much fun, and the scenery is glittering and so exhilarating! Shri Ramakrishna taught to renounce “Women (sexual desire) and Gold,” but indeed, I think that I only had “Women and Gold” within me at the time. However, when that pleasure reached its peak, suddenly, an incident triggered and threw me into a depressive episode. It was not just a simple depressive episode, but a sudden drop from the tallest peak of pleasure; my chest was so tight and I could hardly breathe, and as soon as I let my guard down, the pain in my chest was so acute—tears flowed endlessly. In the end, living normally in society became difficult.

That was the first time I went to a psychiatrist and found out about my illness. What was shocking to me was not that I had developed a mental illness, but rather, finding out that the amazing glittery time I had was merely insanity, something that is not to be desired, something that must be renounced. I could not stop yearning for pleasure, and that made my mind, emotion and spirit suffer much more. That was a big loss, a big shock to me.

Yet, in a way, I had a faint hope that if I recovered one day, I might be able to regain that same kind of pleasure again. In fact, it did go into remission, so expectation was inevitable; however, it didn’t go so well, and eight years later the illness relapsed again. At that time, I was living alone with a little boy.

Just because I started asana didn’t mean that I was mentally stable right away, so I troubled and hurt the ones nearest to me. My son was little at the time, and I thought there was no one who could take away and protect such a tiny, innocent existence, from me.

At a loss as to what to do, I held my son’s tiny soft hands and visited Shri Mahayogi at the Ashrama in Kyoto.

“My manic depression relapsed. Am I still qualified to continue Yoga?” This is an illness of the mind. A Yogi who has controlled the mind and reaches the Truth, and serves the world is what Yoga is supposed to be, yet that mind was broken for me. Will I be able to walk the path of Yoga in such a state? I might not even be able to arrive at its entrance. Thoughts that Yoga was rejecting me arose within me every time something went wrong, so I had the need to ask Shri Mahayogi.

“Yes”—Shri Mahayogi, with the kindest smile, answered me. I knew the answer from the beginning since Yoga should be open to everyone. Even so, I was in such desperation that I had to hear that answer directly.

But then, what was compelling me to yearn for the answer so much? What was I seeking in Yoga that I had to be so desperate?

Then, I recalled the time when I saw Shri Mahayogi for the second time in Matsuyama, soon after my son was born. I asked him a certain question; this was during the time I was in remission and was burning with ambition to accomplish various things energetically. At the time, I respected various women who worked to improve human rights for women, and there were some words from one of them, an older lawyer, that stuck in my mind. She spoke about various divorce and criminal trials that involved domestic violence; and that in these trials, she was weary of perpetrators testifying, “I hit her because I love her” or victims testifying, “I was hit because my love was not enough”; and she said, “It seems that the idea of ‘love’ itself is the root cause of the situation, so I think that we might have to abandon the idea of ‘love’.” Until that point, I thought everything she said was 100% right, but I felt a little odd about this statement. Because, she has a spouse and a family, and perhaps she lives her life with warm thoughts. Likewise, I was also concerned about the statement by a female professor in the United States, who claimed, “The idea of martyrdom or sacrifice is encouraging women to accept being victims.” Did Jesus say such wrong things? If you take away love and faith from victims receiving violence daily, then where is their salvation?

“Shri Mahayogi, here is a Holy Being who knows the Truth”—as I was introduced to Shri Mahayogi, I thought I must ask Shri Mahayogi about “love”; if he is a true Holy Being, he should be able to teach me what the truth of “love” is. And, if he answered, “Love is self-sacrifice,” I had made a serious determination to leave the place immediately. Then, I explained to Shri Mahayogi the aforementioned concerns, then asked Shri Mahayogi, “What is love? Is it really self-sacrifice?”

I have never, for a moment, forgotten his answer then. “Love is self-sacrifice”—Shri Mahayogi lightly but firmly said. Then, after a little pause, he continued: “However, the only person who truly knows the Self that is to be sacrificed is the one who has realized Satori.” “In order to truly be able to love, one must make a constant effort to realize the true Self, and you can say that until then, one is practicing how to love.”

Even though I heard that “Love” is self-sacrifice, I could not leave. It was such a perfect answer, that I could not utter a single word. I thought about a friend who is living with domestic violence daily, and asked as confirmation: “I know someone well who is a victim of domestic violence; she is living in fear of it daily, and she is in a condition where she is not able to think of even improving herself or anything at all. So does it mean that the condition she is in is unrelated to love, and that she should remove herself from that situation?”

“Yes. When it comes to love, there is one more thing that is very important”—he said it firmly, as if leaning forward to convince me. Shri Mahayogi’s way of being at this moment is still etched into my memory and I can recall it vividly even now:

“Love and fear are mutually exclusive. Love is something that is much more exquisite. That person must be pulled out of there immediately.”

In that moment, I was enveloped rapidly in “something” that is exquisite. Something “sweet” was surrounding my body, and this something was filling and overflowing from within—then I realized: Oh, that is how it is. How could I have forgotten something so obvious. Yes, this is Love. I had forgotten. There is no need to think intellectually about it. This, the exquisiteness that exists here right now, is Love. How simple and beautiful Yoga is.

“I want to know more”—the next day, I recalled this moment and felt it with my entire body, and I was surprised at myself for feeling such a thing. Tears fell from my eyes, out of my gratitude that I truly wanted to thank Shri Mahayogi for planting this seed to want to know God, if God does exist.

Whenever I lose confidence or get lost on the path, I always recall Shri Mahayogi from this moment and his answers. Since that moment, I became possessed by the beauty of Truth. I want to walk that beauty of Shri Mahayogi’s teaching, even if for a little bit. How can I give that up just because I fell ill? That strong yearning took me even to Kyoto, pulling along my son’s little hand.

Then, I was accepted by Yoga, and I decided to fully put myself into practice from then on.

“What should I do to remove suffering?” Shri Mahayogi taught me to, “Destroy the structure of the mind.” My mind went—it’s not about breaking the mind, but breaking the structure of the mind…? “Well, it’s about eliminating likes and dislikes,” he said. I started to wonder—when likes and dislikes are erased, the structure of the mind is broken; when the structure of the mind is destroyed, there is no more suffering; I developed an illness of pleasure—by getting rid of pleasure, will the structure of the mind be destroyed?

This is how I began on the path of “Not seeking pleasure, giving up on pleasure.” I still don’t understand the meaning of breaking the structure of the mind. Yet, it was because I could deduce that if the desire for pleasure is gone completely, then even if I fall into a manic state, it will not result in a dire situation that would cause trouble to my surroundings.

Nevertheless, it was extremely difficult and sad. Not only could I not do asana really, I tried to apply something that sounds like discernment, but did not have any clue about it at all. I understood intellectually, but in short, I could not look at my mind calmly. Even so, since I knew that there was suffering and pleasure there, I somehow tossed and turned and struggled to do something about it, yet desire did not lessen, and even worse, I became attached to it instead. I couldn’t say at all that the condition of my daily life became any better; when I returned to work after taking a long break, I became concerned about how others might see me, jobs came and went, and ultimately, my boss told me, “You’re useless wherever you go”—some people told me there were others talking behind my back, so many incidents happened, so many that I didn’t even have time to feel bad about them—I felt like withdrawing into my home. At work, I could not perform any tasks for the symptoms of the illness and the side effects of the medication caused me to not be able to read various writings [required for my work]. At home, my son became rebellious with puberty, and since he grew big, it hurt when he shoved me around. I was so anxious but could not tell what I was anxious about to begin with. I could not sleep at night, I was sleepy during the day, the body felt as if it was drowsy, and I had a headache. Is it really even possible to control my own mind, which is constantly complaining with each struggle and trying to escape?

I tried to grab onto the various entangled pieces of garbage in my mind and throw them out, but they stuck to my hand so well, like duct tape, and did not leave. I swung at them full force, again and again, but they wouldn’t become unstuck. And in the end, out of options, I felt that the only thing left was to pray to God.

One sleepless night, I opened the Abridged Gospel of Shri Ramakrishna, which happened to be at my bedside. I read the opened page a little. Coincidentally, a way to pray to God was mentioned there.

“How to pray is the next question. Let us not pray for things of this world, but pray like the Saint Narada. Narada said to Ramachandra, ‘O Ram, grant that I may be favoured with bhakti (love, devotion and self-surrender) to the lotus of Thy feet.’ ‘Be it so, Narada!’ said Ram. ‘But wilt thou not ask for anything else?’ Narada replied, ‘Lord, may it please Thee to grant that I may not be attracted by Thy maya, which so fascinates the universe.’”

Yes, let me try—I decided from that moment to pray: “Please grant me faith.” Looking back now, that prayer was but stupid determination, having nothing to do with breaking through the situation I was facing at the time. However, thanks to Shri Ramakrishna, before I knew it, I began to pray every morning to Kali, chant her name, and pray, “Please grant me pure and strong faith towards you. Please fill my mind with only that,” and it became something I looked to forward to:

You Truly are my Mother, you Truly are my Father
You Truly are my Relatives, you Truly are my Friend
You Truly are my Knowledge, you Truly are my Wealth
You Truly are my All
My God, God!

The overwhelming form of Kali, fighting with demons and prevailing over them encourages me powerfully as I fight my own mind. Onward! If I am victorious, Shiva will be overjoyed! Onward, to make Shiva Joyous! Even the omnipotent, the most powerful, Goddess is fighting so desperately; then it is a given that I must fight.

All of a sudden, I noticed that the purpose of the battle that I was fighting against pleasure for, in order to heal myself of the illness, shifted to the purpose of praising Kali and making Shiva Joyful. As for my work, I no longer care if anyone acknowledges me; I am still concerned about others who acknowledge me, but never mind! My son is already living his own life; I am no longer worried! And even the illness became something mundane and little, like a cold or a headache. Whether I am elated or have a temper, or am immobile from depression, I just need to continue living while battling pleasures, battling pain-bearing obstacles and thinking only about becoming pure, all for the sake of God. This is how I have begun to untangle the chain little by little, where I was previously a slave to the evaluation of “how others see me.”

Gradually, before I became aware, my daily life began to change, little by little. My son began to control his mind much better than I do, and smiles returned to our daily meals. At my job, I began to perform the tasks in front of me to the best of my ability, whether the work was busy or slow; I became unconcerned about rumors about me. Deep sleep at night has increased, and I stopped being concerned about the body, even when I don’t feel well; and I began to clean the house regularly, which I did not like to do. In this way, I was able to feel my daily life gradually become more tranquil.

It is best not to become ill. Indeed, I regret it and I should have taken care of myself to prevent from developing illness. Yet, my illness taught me many things. No matter how much the mind changes, the consciousness, “I,” never changes. I don’t know what the true Self is, even so, at least, I know that the mind has nothing to do with the true Self—because even if the mind is broken, I am still here. Conversely, my illness taught me about the impermanence of all things in this world. Situations change; it can get worse or get better. More than anything else, the illness guided me to confront my mind, and fight with it, no matter how awkward or ugly it was. Therefore, I must be grateful for this, my illness. However, I thought that it must almost be the time to let go of this illness. If my mind goes crazy again, let it go crazy. But, please, when that happens, may I become mad for God, in God. Solely for that, I will live my life, offering my pleasures up to God.

Then, suddenly, I felt that the illness asked me a question: “If you are not battling illness, then why are you giving up pleasures, and battling with pleasures?” I felt that the answer arose in me naturally, and perhaps the illness must have gotten a satisfactory answer, as it became silent. For the sake of God—taking actions to make one’s own self pure, is itself a thing that is done for the sake of God. I wonder if this is the action that is considered to be worship.

“Will Shri Mahayogi be pleased and joyous like Shiva, if I battle my own desires like Kali, and keep battling until my desire is absorbed completely and I have won a victory?”—I asked.
“Yes”—said Shri Mahayogi.